To the mom on her phone at the playground:
I see you! I see you sitting on a bench while your kiddo explores the playground on her own. I see you glance up every 30 seconds to make sure she is ok. I see you taking a break.
And that is awesome.
Maybe. . .
You have been indoors for three days with your sick child—catching puke, giving cuddles and kisses, making soup, giggling under the covers with piles and piles of books that you’ve read a million times. You now finally get to step outside and get some air and have a minute to see what has been happening in the world since you’ve been gone. So check that phone!
Maybe. . .
Your babysitter or nanny fell through and you are getting a bonus day with your kids but you still have to make sure to check in on work and respond to emails without your kids pulling on your sleeves to play with them.
Maybe. . .
You have spent the last few hours engaged in an epic lego build and you finally get to stretch out your aching back and take a minute to join the adult world by popping in and texting your friends about weekend plans.
Maybe. . .
You work part-time from home so you can save money on a nanny and be home with your children, so you use playground time as a way to keep your kids busy while you make a few bucks by getting some work done. You’re juggling so much and still crushing it as a mom!
Maybe. . .
You’re texting your partner about dinner or catching up with your own mom while your kiddo gains some autonomy and explores on her own.
Or maybe. . .
You just want to sit for a hot minute somewhere where your child is safe and happy and you can just be you for a while, not a ninja or kitty or astronaut detective.
There is so much talk about putting the screens down—for parents too! And I don’t disagree that we need to show our children that they matter and that we see them. Competing for our attention with a device is not how a child should be raised.
But that doesn’t mean we have to be 100% engaged 100% of the time. There are whispers and posts and comments about mamas on their phones when “they should be paying attention to their child.” There are so many ways to be judged these days.
We need to stop assuming and start believing in each other.
That mom you are snarking at is most likely incredible and has just come from doing some pretty amazing momming. You may even be able to learn a thing or two from her. Just sayin’!
So, mama, keep on being an awesome mom and keep on prioritizing you, too!
