Sometimes my children’s whining is so impressive that I wish I could hand out awards for it. Think of the commitment it takes for them to completely change their tones of voice, switch up their posture into a pathetic slump, and convince themselves that not getting a fourth (4th!) cookie is the end of the world.
It’s an underappreciated talent, really, and one that doesn’t disappear as they get older. We just call it “attitude.”
I first jokingly wrote about whining before the summer Olympics when I imagined what it would be like if our whiny children were actually training for some sort of elite, worldwide whining competition — an opportunity to showcase their tantrum talents in a variety of events. It’s award season now: Golden Globes, SAG Awards, Grammys, and The Oscars. The Whining Awards would fit right in at this time of year, don’t you think?
Without further ado, I present the categories for the Whining Awards. In how many categories could your child earn a nomination? How many could they win?! And what categories would you add?
Toddlerhood
◊ Best Clinger
◊ Best Foot Stomp
◊ Best Pout
◊ Best Scream
◊ Best Hurl of the Closest Object
◊ Best Breath Hold
◊ Best Refusal of Whatever They Just Asked For
◊ Best Tantrum
Tweens & Teens
◊ Best Eye Roll
◊ Best Mumbling Under Their Breath
◊ Best Comeback Via Text Message
◊ Best Silent Treatment
◊ Best Insult That Actually Hurts Your Feelings a Little
And when you’re at your wit’s end with your kids’ dramatics, remember this mantra and check out some of our favorite books on parenting. All kids whine, but not all kids have to whine all the time!
