Before tackling the topic of unhealthy sexual behaviors in children (e.g. Is my child masturbating too much? Is that appropriate play or talk for their age?), it’s important to know what normal sexual development looks like. Having this baseline will alert you to when something is wrong or if your child is simply reaching developmental milestones.
Here is a list of healthy sexual behaviors, according to Healthy Touch for Children and Youth Training.
Infancy (0-2 years old)
- Learn through relationships with caregivers
- Develop a sense of trust through touch
- Explore bodies through touch
- Explore their own genitals
- Have no inhibitions about nudity
Toddler and Preschool (2-5 years old)
- Show interest in human reproduction
- Learn the difference between males and females
- Touch themselves to self-soothe or appear to be masturbating in view of others
- Engage in consensual genital exploration with same age peers
- Show curiosity about adult bodies
- Have no inhibitions about nudity
Middle Childhood (5-8 years old)
- Learns the basics about human reproduction
- May self-stimulate in private
- May engage in consensual genital exploration with same age and often same sex peers
- Will become modest about their own nudity
- May seek out naked bodies, in person or on the internet
- Will pretend non-sexual “dating behavior” with same age peers
Pre-Adolescence and Teens (9-13 years)
- Has increasing sexual awareness
- Ask questions about sex and sexual relationships
- Has increasing experimentation and romantic relationships with other adolescents, sometimes of the same gender
- Seek out sexual content in television, movies and the internet
Our relationship with our children is so important. Knowing what these milestones are allows you to have an open, honest, and age-appropriate conversation with your child about sex and their bodies. These conversations are preventative and, along with other tools, can help protect our children from child sexual abuse.
If you are interested in organizing training on this topic or others related to child sexual abuse prevention, please contact me at tlkleonardd2l@yahoo.com.
