My sister-in-law once walked into the bathroom with groggy, glasses-free eyes, said good morning to my brother who was brushing his teeth, and sat down to use the toilet. My brother quickly said, “You know, I’m not your husband.”
You see, I have two brothers, they’re identical twins, and we were sharing a house for a family vacation, which explains my poor sister-in-law’s confusion. The rest of my family had a good laugh when we heard about the mixup, but my mom’s reaction stood out. “You pee in front of your husband?” she asked my sister-in-law incredulously. Growing up, my parents kept a closed-door potty policy and they still do, so the scenario in which my sister-in-law found herself was completely foreign to her.
It did make me curious to know what’s more common in coupledom: latrine time lockdown or an open door policy.
Like my mom, I don’t like to use the bathroom in front of other people, either. Toilet tendencies seem like a great place to leave an element of mystery in the relationship, and this has always been the standard with my husband, but it became even more important after having kids.
If you ask me, my husband has already reached his quota of seeing me in compromising positions. While in the throes of labor with our two children, I put my dignity aside and my husband was along for the ride. I couldn’t have cared less who was in the delivery room, what they were seeing, or whether they were live streaming the delivery to an audience at the Super Dome. But afterward, almost immediately, I needed my privacy back. Since then, I’ve had a daily audience of two tiny humans for most of my trips to the bathroom. The thought of having a thirty-six-year-old man join me for the other times is a non-starter.
From my sister-in-law’s perspective, though, an open door policy is an extension of the intimacy a couple shares. If women are comfortable taking group trips to the ladies’ room, then peeing in front of our long-term partners really shouldn’t be that big of a deal (for the record, my mom never signed on to peeing in front of friends, either).
To each her own, really. I’m not advocating that open door households should amp up their privacy standards, but I would love to know what’s the norm in your household and why. Do you keep your privy time private or are you open to an audience? Share your thoughts on the subject in the comments!
