Things NOT to Say to Moms of Twins


I’d always heard that people make bizarre comments to pregnant women and new moms, but I was wholly unprepared for the kind of comments I’d get with twins (not to mention the touching!). Here are some of the things people have said to me:

“Are they natural?”

Do I really need to disclose to you how my babies were conceived? Is one way better or worse than the other?

“Do twins run in your family? Did you plan for twins?”

[See also: Are they natural?]

This is the more subtle version of the “Are they natural?” question. Again, I understand that people are typically just surprised and they are making conversation, but it honestly just feels kind of awkward to me. We usually reply, “We were just as surprised as you!”

After telling people the twins are a boy and a girl: “Are they identical? How do you tell them apart?”

I mean…

“A boy and a girl! That’s so perfect!”

Would it be less perfect if they were two boys or two girls? When you have a child, is there really a perfect gender?

“Two at once! Now you can be done!”

Who decided two was the magic number of children?

“I always wanted twins!”

Really? Because to be honest, I sobbed when we found out. Most days, it’s utter chaos, and I’m just trying to make it to bedtime. I’m thrilled and honored to be their mom but that doesn’t mean I’m not overwhelmed and terrified a little bit too. Also, growing twins is not kind to the body.

“I have two really close in age, so I totally get it. It’s just like having twins.”

No, only having twins is just like having twins. You had at least nine months with only one baby, one infant!

“You must be due any day!”

“I would have thought you were further along!”

“How do two babies fit in there?”

“You’re not going to be able to get that much bigger!”

“You’re too small to carry twins!”

“You’re going to be huge!”

The only appropriate thing to say to ANY pregnant woman or new mom is…

“You look amazing! You are doing SUCH a good job!”




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