10 Signs I Am Human

In a world where everyone’s striving to be perfect all the time, I’ve decided to embrace my flaws. Here are ten things I do on a regular basis that are definitely not something to brag about but are part of what makes me, well, happy…

1) Sometimes on my days off, I take the kids to daycare and go home and do nothing. Literally. I binge on Netflix, read celebrity news, and, if I’m lucky, fold a load or two of laundry. Hey, sometimes we all just need a break.

2) I ignore phone calls from family and friends (sorry mom!). Even if I’m just sitting around relaxing. In fact, I’m more likely to ignore a call if I’m having downtime. Sometimes I just don’t feel like talking to people. (Except for you, special friend/sibling/coworker, that time you called recently I was really busy which is why I couldn’t answer your call).

3) I drive around with my windows down and the cold AC blasting. In California, this is the BEST way to enjoy a beautiful day. Which, let’s face it, is every day.

4) I take two samples at Costco. Or sometimes four, if my kids are with me.

5) Sometimes I don’t bathe my kids for two nights in a row (ok… three days max!). I used the “drought” as an excuse, but really, my husband and I are just lazy. Which means, yes, occasionally my son is the stinky kid in Pre-K, but I’m ok with that for now.

6) I stay in the lane that is ending until the last possible second that I have to merge, especially if traffic is bad. The lane is there for a reason, so I might as well use it, right?

7) I serve breakfast for dinner. I never get complaints about this one!

8) I check my phone when I’m at the park with my kids. Yeah, that’s right, Perfect Mom, giving me the side-eye right now for not paying attention to my kids every second. If my kids are entertained, and I have something important to text my husband or friends, I’m gonna do it. So stop judging me.

9) I will lie and tell my kids that places are closed just to get out of having to go. “I would love to go swimming, honey, but the pool is closed right now,” or, “Oh the ice cream store juuuuussst closed. Darn it. Maybe next time.” No matter that we can literally hear the kids splashing across the street or that it’s only 5:00 in the afternoon. Luckily my kids are still gullible enough to believe me.

10) Sometimes I get distracted or overcommitted and don’t finish projects to the extent that I should. For instance, I couldn’t come up with a really good 10th reason for this post. I think you get the point.

So cheers to those of us who are sometimes feeling merely average and are comfortable embracing our imperfections!

Editor’s note: This post originally published on September 30, 2016, and was lightly edited prior to republishing.