If you look at all the details that need to align to become pregnant it is quite miraculous one even becomes pregnant; yet somehow, our bodies make it happen. We make a baby, grow a baby, and then deliver them Earth side. All for a whole new being to be welcomed onto the planet.
But for those times when every single detail is not in place, we are considered infertile. It can be an extremely emotional process for all those involved in the process. It is a roller coaster of emotions. The cycle of infertility is anticipation, life, death, and the unknown: all smashed together like a bad dream that repeats itself cyclic day in and day out, like cycles of the moon each month. All while life goes on like “normal”, not giving much time to grieve what could have been, what was, or otherwise.
Here are three tips to help you if you are secretly, publicly or otherwise struggling with fertility. They are important pieces of advice from my clinical experience, and are often not told to you by your MD.
Create an environment that is conducive to becoming pregnant
This means that your physical body, which I call your “body environment” needs to be in the best shape it can possibly be. Your “life environment” at home (hopefully at work as well) is conducive to allowing your body to rest and be in a relaxed state. It is important that your body environment is healthy as well as relaxed, stress free, and balanced. You must get up regularly if you work at a desk all day, eat right, get fresh air, practice deep breathing or meditation, go for walks, and in general just get a break, mentally, emotionally or otherwise.
Yes, harder in practice then written or said here, but it is really important to slooooow down. When we slow down we get in touch with our bodies. We check in to see how we feel, what we need, and so much more. We live in a fast pace environment where being busy is something to be revered, but really we should be honoring the person that takes care of themselves. So take care of yourself, by slowing down.
Date your partner
Sex can get boring and sometimes feel meaningless, especially if we have been stuck in the infertility cycle. To not lose sight of one another during the process, go on a date. You two decided to have a child together, and though it probably hasn’t gone as planned, connecting on deeper levels and just enjoying each other’s company can have more of an effect than just having sex to get pregnant. Do you even remember why you wanted to have kids together? Set a date time and place, show up and pretend like you don’t know each other, or do something that you used to do when you were first together. Spice things up in the relationship.
Lastly, as a fertility acupuncturist, I also have to add, to get acupuncture. It will help prepare your body for conception, pregnancy, and birth. It can also help keep the emotions regulated, the body relaxed, and the mind prepared.
Love yourself, love your body, and remember to breathe regularly. For about 97% of the population, nature has designed our bodies to create, and birth a human being. It is just a matter of setting up the right conditions to make it happen: however that happens.