Being a new mom is scary – no two ways about it. Everything is new, exciting, challenging, tiring, and as you are trying to navigate through this amazing experience called motherhood, you have a brand new baby who needs you 100%.
The parenting advice I give (and I know everyone loves unsolicited parenting advice, not) is to be your child’s biggest advocate because, at the end of the day, you know them best and have a fierce sense of mom confidence – MOMfidence.
For me, this all kicked in when we tried to introduce formula to my oldest daughter when she was six months old. She immediately had a bad reaction and when I followed up with our pediatrician, she brushed me off, as she had been for the last few months.
I sensed my daughter had an intolerance to my breastmilk and kept asking our pediatrician if I should change my diet. She would give me a look that basically said, “You are an overdramatic first-time mom, and I am the doctor, so I know best.” For some reason, I kept listening to her instead of going with my gut. After my daughter’s reaction, I pushed for allergy testing and the pediatrician still said no. According to her, it was unnecessary; the reaction was probably a one-off. I should try formula again. I realized at that moment that I am the mother, I know my daughter with my whole heart, and while I do not have a medical degree, in this instance, I knew what was best for her. I finally pushed back, demanded an allergy test and to meet with an allergist. I came to find out that my daughter had a severe allergy to dairy and soy.
After we got the results, I was furious at myself and felt like I had really let my daughter down. I knew something was off months ago, why did I not trust my instincts and blindly listen to the pediatrician instead? Why had I not pushed back sooner? I vowed from then on to be my children’s biggest advocate and find my confidence so that even when I got pushback, I could stand up for my children.
As I navigated through motherhood, that confidence translated into standing firm with the choices I was making as a mom; when to start solids, crying it out vs. co-sleeping, when to start preschool, etc. Everyone will have an opinion, and that is great – they should be doing what is best for their child, but even when you feel outnumbered or choose the choice that is not the most popular, you have to stand your ground. All the choices I made as a mom were because it is what worked for not only my girls but for our family, and I will always stand behind those decisions. What I like to remind myself is that other moms, pediatricians, and family members can say whatever they want, but no one else is there at 2:00 am when your child needs you – do what is best for them and you.
Since I have become a mom, I have become an even stronger and more confident person. It is not just me that I am looking out for, I now have two girls who depend on me to make sure they are getting what they need. So from here on out, my own confidence has been replaced with the even better, stronger MOMfidence.
P.S. We have a new pediatrician.
